Healthy Gamer

Healthy Gamer: Feel Good, Inc.

In my mind, there are a lot more spikes and chains on this thing.
In my mind, there are a lot more spikes and chains on this thing.

“If a man achieves victory over this body, who in the world can exercise power over him? He who rules himself rules over the whole world.” – Vinoba Bhave

I’ll be taking a brief respite from putting myself and my issues under the microscope in the Healthy Gamer pieces for a bit.  Judging by private response I know that some of you out there can relate to what I’m saying, and it’s nice to be able to act as a voice to your worries, but man is it exhausting. Last time I hit a two for one, and that had to undergo 50 re-writes in order to make it palatable. A lot of bad experiences bled into the piece, and I didn’t want the message to get lost in the murk. Healthy Gamer marches on, but give me a bit to regain myself.

I had a consultation with a fitness trainer recently, which resulted in a new workout regimen. Considering 90% of my exercise previous to this was walking and/or on a recumbent bike, I was more than happy to expand my repertoire and add some variety.

Besides, I’ve been at it a while, so I’ve got a head start of some kind. Sure, the point is to push myself, but I’ve been doing that, so this would just be an extension of that.

Right?

Not so much. Last week I did the cycle for the first time. It’s a combination of cardio  and strength/resistance training. I started with the cardio.

This was the first time I’d ever been on an elliptical machine. I have a fear that if I climbed onto one, It would be completely unable to support me and would collapse into a pile of poles, pads and person in public. Ugh. However, taking a page from my own playbook, I swallowed my fear and climbed onboard.

Obviously I was pretty stoked when the floor didn’t give in beneath the combined weight of me and the machine, sending us both to Hades in a cross-country skiing motion.

I plugged in my iPod, put on what I felt would be a good cardio soundtrack (Girl Talk is perfect for this) and got to work. The motions of the machine were fluid and I thought it would be a nice solid change of pace that I could handle.

So, all that stuff about me having a head start and all? Did not matter at all. My first time onboard I could not make the time that was prescribed by the young and toned fitness guru.

I was only two minutes short, but I had been defeated. I loosely sloughed from the torture device to go get a paper towel and disinfectant (does Lysol eliminate soul? I’m pretty sure I sweated some out). As I oozed over to the dispenser, the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat, like thunder. I wasn’t dizzy, but I wasn’t far from it.

It was something like this. Except for it being nothing at all like this.
It was something like this. Except for it being nothing at all like this.

However, I did it (in sight of other people) and managed not to destroy anything, except my assumption that I couldn’t do this. This was a win by any definition I can think of. Except the one where I needed two more minutes of cardio that I’m quite positive would have made an orphan of my daughter.

The resistance training was pretty standard,  no real amusing anecdotes to provide there. For the first half of it, I was still buzzing from the elliptical machine. I think going forward I will do the strength training before the cardio. Anyone out there with reasons to do it in a certain order should speak up.

I’m going to alternate this plan with lap swimming. I haven’t been back yet because stupid life gets in the stupid way sometimes (getting ready to move) but I was feeling it for days.

For those of you who keep talking about starting a workout but haven’t actually done so yet, what are you waiting for? None of us are getting any younger, and it promises only to get more difficult with further delays. Moreover, let’s talk benefits. Yeah, you get to live longer. Yeah, you get to look better. Yeah, you get to get new clothes (don’t use me as a reference figure here, I’ve been very stubborn about getting appropriately sized clothing). Yeah, you get to start chipping away at some of the issues that are plaguing us. All that’s well and good, but the thing you’re missing out most on?

The endorphin rush. We all know about what it is, but I think it warrants special mention, because the promise of it doesn’t always inspire us to move, and it should be able to unerringly do so.

Awww yeah.
Awww yeah.

You finish a good work out, and it’s like being handed an invincibility star. For a short time you are absolutely unstoppable. (Except for falling in holes. Don’t fall in holes.)  To test the theory, I went outside, found a turtle, and ran right into that bitch. I. DID. NOT. DIE. I didn’t even shrink or lose the ability to throw little bouncing fireballs. As expected, the turtle was utterly obliterated.  Music sounds better, air tastes sweeter, life is just lifier. The super high mellows into a good solid feeling of accomplishment, and then it’s back to business as usual. Completely awesome. Get some.

GenCon 2013 planning has started! We’re working behind the scenes to make an Official Healthy Gamer event happen, but odds are, this year it will be informal.

In a suggestion that will make me universally reviled and possibly lead to my tar and feathering, I beseech any attendees to come be a part of it, and to help spread the word and get other people involved. Come out one morning, and before you go roll dice, flip cards, or move little figures around, come get your blood flowing. I guarantee it will make your day.

Interested parties or people with questions , suggestions, etc., should hit me up either in the comments below or you can email me with the contact found in the “Meet Joe” page. Be a part of something important, help yourself and your friends to embrace a healthier lifestyle, help kill the stereotype that we’re all out of shape people who are allergic to sunshine.

No actual turtles were harmed in the writing of this post.

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4 thoughts on “Healthy Gamer: Feel Good, Inc.

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