By the Numbers

By the Numbers Week 1 – or – Wait, fuck it’s already November?

So as promised, here we are at November 2, to launch this thing. Almost. I don’t exactly have all of my pieces in place. I just finished moving yesterday, give me a damn second. 

While I don’t have everything in motion just yet, I can at least share with you my Master Plan:

  1. Eat less.
  2. Move more.
  3. Profit.

Step One: I will be putting myself on an extremely strict calorie budget (including professional oversight to make sure I am not killing myself to save myself). It’s not going to be restrictive in what I can eat, but how much. Absolutely I can eat a whole bag of chips if I want. But that will be pretty much all I can eat that day, and the lack of protein and nutrients is going to punish me in the gym. I know from previous experience that even with keeping to a low calorie total, if you’re eating right, it will be just fine. You would burst before you could eat a day’s calorie allowance in spinach.

Step Two: I am going to get back to where I was before, which is to say devoting an average of 90-180 minutes a day to moving for the sake of moving.  This will include a combination of walking, swimming/high intensity aqua-aerobics, weights, cardio and yoga. Some of these things will have more time than others, but I am going to try to establish some kind of routine so that everything listed above gets some time.

Step Three: Pretty self-explanatory. I’ve used the above to great effect, but I’ve had some backslides. Further, I accomplished what I did before springboarding from a broken heart. As much as I hate to say it, that really helped. This time I don’t have revenge I am chasing. This time I am trying to do it because “I like myself” and “want to be around longer for my kid” or somesuch fantasy dragon bullshit. I honestly think this will be the hardest part. All that negative energy is corrosive and damaging, but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t motivating. Getting myself to go without a seething rage is new ground. Pushing myself through that last 10 minutes without telling myself I am unloveable and worthless if I don’t is unfamiliar. I’m not saying what I did was right, folks. Just that it worked. Until it didn’t.

I’ll update regularly here. By the Numbers will be the cut and dry “here’s what I did, stats and pics to hold me accountable” sorts, and Healthy Gamer will be still reserved for the stories and other things where I try to present myself as being human.

I want to try to have fun with this. The first time around, I wanted to end with the ability to cosplay as Captain Hammer. I still like that as a goal. That’s about it for right now. My next update will be soon with the actual starting of this plan as opposed to this “hey guys, I am totally about to start. For reals. No, really.”

Lastly, I’m also going to share a poem with you. One of my personal favorites by Buddy Wakefield. I will reveal one piece at a time, per update. Obviously, you can google it after the first part and read the whole thing, but if you’re watching this anyway, then having the poem unveil itself for you while I transform sounds pretty cool right? It may well end up being more like some kind of shitty advent calendar, but one way to find out. See you soon.

On the face of her phone,
Wileen programs a message to herself
so that when the alarm clock rings,
the screen flashes
Every day is one day less.
Every day is one day less. 


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