Healthy Gamer

Healthy Gamer: Hard Reboot

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.” – William James

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times. I’ve been struggling lately, with what feels like everything.  I’ve been spinning my wheels trying to get something, ANYTHING done. You can tell by my tone that it has been not quite as successful as I would hope. I keep getting these momentary bursts of catalyzing despair, but they don’t stay around long enough for me to get out of the rut I’ve been in. As I am a pretty action-oriented person, it’s been more than a little frustrating. Every dark cloud has a silver lining though, and due to the timeliness of several jarring life events, this is all about to change.

Continue reading

Healthy Gamer

Love thyself. Or not.

bh“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” – Neil Gaiman

Continue reading

Healthy Gamer

Healthy Gamer – O, Captain, My Captain

It feels questionably good to be a gangsta.
It feels questionably good to be a gangsta.

“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say” – Bryant H. McGill

The Captain Hammer Project has taken a few interesting turns lately.

I guess before I go any further, I should mention that this will not be one of those posts where I turn on the lights and send the cockroaches of my insecurities scattering. I’ve got many more of those to go, and each one is a serious emotional drain. I find that making myself talk about those subjects requires a very specific frame of  mind, and not one given to splits from other topics.

Continue reading